Seattle Sports Bro

Where east coast bias goes to die.

The Top 5 Seattle Sports Bros of All Time

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We have to admit it: Seattle has lacked championships.  It’s an undeniable fact the curse of being a Seattle sports fan is that you must watch all your worst enemies win multiple titles before we win another one.  It’s why the Yankees and Red Sox always compete for the World Series.  It’s why the Ducks went to the BCS championship game this year.  And it’s why Ben Roethlisberger has won two Super Bowls, survived a reckless motorcycle accident, and been acquitted of two sexual assaults.

But what we’ve lacked in championships, we’ve made up for with a veritable bounty of stone cold bros playing for our teams.  Take a look at all these iconic bros and try to tell me Seattle isn’t ranked no. 1 for sports bro production (broduction).

5. The Boz

brian bosworth

Seattle Seahawks LB Brian Bosworth had everything.  A rocking haircut.  Outrageous movie deals. A medicine cabinet flush with steroids.

The only thing he didn’t have was anything remotely resembling a successful NFL career.  After being named the top linebacker in the nation during his glory days at Oklahoma, “the Boz” only played in 3 injury-plagued seasons for the Seahawks before retiring to pursue an ill-fated acting career.

But even in his failures, the Boz succeeded in satisfying one of the most central tenants of brodom: the duty of a true bro is to spectacularly flame out after you leave college, leaving outsiders to remember your youth as an almost sick and twisted backstory to your epic downfall.

While the Boz didn’t leave behind any NFL highlight films,  and will at least be remembered for starring in the bro-est action scene in movie history.

4. Lorenzo Romar

lorenzo romar

It would take quite a bro to take a program out of the basement of the pac-10 and turn it into a perennial Sweet 16 contender, but that is exactly what UW basketball head coach Lorenzo Romar has done.  Now, Romar’s calm reserved demeanor might not scream bro to you, but keep in mind that this mofo is straight outta Compton, L.A.  Born and raised.

That not only means that Romar bumps classic cuts from Dr. Dre and Ice Cube in his car, but he also has a serious advantage recruiting talented players out of his former hometown.  How else do you think fellow Compton natives Bobby Jones and Darnell Gant were persuaded to play up in Seattle?

Even with this rollercoaster season, Romar is probably the most positive figure in the Seattle Sports scene right now, so let’s hope he continues to bro out in Seattle for years to come.

3. Shawn Kemp

shawn kemp

Take notes, MJ

Seattle Sonics forward Shawn Kemp (pictured, giving Michael Jordan the inspiration for his iconic “Jumpman” logo) was a consummate bro. His day job was throwing down earth shattering dunks, and at night he was getting busy with the ladies to the tune of countless illegitimate children… but that’s neither here nor there.
Kemp was a central figure during the Sonics’ mid-nineties glory days, and had it not been for facing one of the best teams in NBA history in the 1996 Chicago Bulls in the Finals of that year, then perhaps he would have a ring to complement his bro aura (braura).

2. Nate Robinson

nate robinson

Goodness gracious

Just look at that fucking dunk.  A dunk cannot truly be called great unless it causes other players on the court make a face that looks like they just smelled dog shit, as demonstrated by Hakeem Rollins in the bottom right.

The best aspect of Nate Rob is how hard he reps Seattle.  When the Huskies played in Syracuse for the Sweet 16 last year, Nate Rob flew in to watch the game wearing a UW basketball shirt and a fitted, teal-brimmed Mariners hat AKA the freshest lid ever made.  The dude just loves Seatown, and with a 5’9″ in shoes height, he perfectly embodies that underdog mentality that is ingrained in the mid of any Seattle sports fan.

1. Ken Griffey Jr.

KEN GRIFFEY JR.

I don’t really need to explain this one, do I? I mean, no other Seattle athlete even comes to Griffey in terms of being the face of his franchise. The kid went to 10 consecutive All Star games, belted 56 HRs in a season twice, won an MVP award, starred in the best Nike commercial ever made, had a video game named after him, and invented the backwards cap. He’s also the living proof that you don’t need to pull a Lebron or A-Rod and go play for a “major market” team to become an international icon. Griffey made his name in Seattle, and it’s here he became arguably the most famous athlete in America during his heyday.

While many certified bros were left off this list, the 5 stars above deserve to be immortalized on a blog as widely revered as this one. If you think we’ve left any out, leave a comment stating your case for others.

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