Seattle Sports Bro

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A Smattering of Thoughts on College Football

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Coach Kelly should seriously consider going on a hunger strike to protest impending sanctions

Bros- What’s really good?

I apologize that I haven’t updated this bitch in a while… been a hectic couple of months.  But what better time to get back into the swing of things with college football just 12 days away?

It’s been a wild offseason for Husky fans, mainly because we’ve had the privilege of seeing Oregon come under investigation for their use of Willie Lyles’ “recruiting packages” and essentially paying to secure the commitment of RB Lache Seastrunk.  I speak for Husky fans everywhere when I say it’s been delightful to witness this all go down, especially over a player who has been a complete non-factor for their program.

That hasn’t been the only problem for the Ducks, either.  Just the other day, a police video was released showing Oregon star CB Cliff Harris being pulled over for speeding at 118 MPH.  To make matters deliciously worse for the Ducks, QB Darron Thomas was in the passenger seat.

In a moment that seems like it was pulled straight out of Super Troopers, the officer asks Harris, “Who’s got the Marijuana,”  to which the shutdown corner sagely replied, “We smoked it all.”

Well played, sir.

Anyways, as we await for the NCAA to rain a fiery shit storm of debilitating sanctions upon Oregon’s football program, another scandal has emerged that has blown the lid off College football as a whole.

A University of Miami booster named Nevin Shapiro has admitted to giving literally thousands of impermissible benefits to student athletes for the better part of the last decade.  These “benefits” include cash payments, VIP club treatment, yacht excursions, and of course, hookers.

You can read Yahoo’s meticulous investigation on the matter here.


I have two key thoughts on this as the sports world begins to determine how screwed Miami is:


1) Nevin Shapiro, ultimate toolbag

Kellen Winslow and Nevin Shapiro in a fierce competition to out-douche each other.

Seriously, this dude is such a loser it’s almost tragic.  His life for nearly 10 years consisted of paying 18-22 year olds to hang out with him.  He literally gave these kids anything they wanted, and they quickly figured out all the ways to exploit his deep pockets.

I love how in the investigation Shapiro expresses bewilderment at how all his former “friends” have now turned their backs on him.  It’s like DUDE: do you actually think you’d established meaningful relationships with any of these players or coaches?   These people came to you like moths to a flame when you had something to offer them, but now that you’re of no value they’re abandoning you like rats off a sinking ship.  How could you have not expected that?

How the hell did Shapiro get so rich if he’s this stupid?  Only in America…

2) No, we shouldn’t start paying college athletes

Scandals like this one inevitably renew sentiment from certain fans that claim college athletes should be paid.  I hate this argument.  It can cost a person as much $200,000 to attend some four year universities.  College athletes don’t pay a dime of this.  Nor do they pay for any of the rooms, meals, and world class medical attention they receive.

I don’t care what your argument is; that’s getting paid.  It’s not money in your pocket, but it’s a privilege that 99.9% of the rest of the population doesn’t receive.  Not to mention the fact that your college performance directly impacts how big a signing bonus you’ll get if you make it to the pros.

I love college sports, so by extension I love these athletes.  But I don’t feel sorry for them one bit that they don’t get paid, and neither should anyone else.  I know that will only make the temptation greater for athletes to hang out with slimey douches like Nevin Shapiro, but that doesn’t mean they should be given even more entitlements than they already receive.


Anyways, I think all of America is ready for attention to shift back on the field.  For the record, I predict the Dawgs will notch 7 wins this year, more if Keith Price surpasses our expectations (which wouldn’t surprise me).

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