Seattle Sports Bro

Where east coast bias goes to die.

5 Bold Predictions for the 2011 Seattle Mariners

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The 2011 Mariners will lead the league in killer 'staches

The 2011 Seattle Mariners will be better than last year

Some may call this a bold prediction, while others will realize: how could we possibly get any worse than our 2010 campaign? Well, just to play devil’s advocate here, the M’s basically did nothing to improve their roster in the offseason, and are relying on players who performed terribly last year to improve dramatically in 2011. They also need starting pitchers like Doug Fister and Jason Vargas to continue to throw as surprisingly well as they did last year, and who knows whether that’s sustainable.
But all in all, with a new manager in place and a hungry attitude amongst the players, I just get the feeling that the M’s are gonna get at least 10 more wins this year. A modest improvement, I know, but Rome wasn’t built in a day. I’d say there’s been some good karma going around the Seattle sports scene lately, and the Mariners will keep that shit going, right? RIGHT?!?!


Yup. That's coming right for your head.

2011 will be the year of Michael Pineda

Is anybody else as heterosexually turned on by Michael Pineda as I am? The dude is 6’7” and 260 pounds. 6’7”, 260!!! Will someone PLEASE charge the mound on him this year? He basically would treat any MLB batter like the bully in the Australian fat kid video.
But just amongst us bros, I don’t think this guy is getting hyped enough. Sure, he doesn’t have an out pitch against leftys, but he’s only 22 years old and may still develop one. And besides, he has absolutely dominant stuff against right-handers. This kid could develop into the next C.C. Sabathia, and I’m 100% drinking the Pineda flavored Kool-Aid.


Stay focused, Dustin

Dustin Ackley will be good, but not great

I think M’s fans are putting a little too much faith in Dustin Ackley this year. He’ll definitely make it up to the big leagues this season, but we’re gonna see some of his flaws. Namely, his unpolished defensive skills at second base and his lack of power hitting.
That said, this guy could be the next John Olerud, but he’ll need some time adjusting to the big leagues. He’s not gonna be the rookie of the year, but if he gets some quality at bats in the MLB this year, we could have a stellar second baseman locked into our team for the next several years. Very pumped for this to happen.


Come on, Justin

Our fate is in Justin Smoak’s hands

Obviously, Justin Smoak has been a tremendous disappointment thus far in his Mariners tenure. For a guy who was lauded in the minors for his plate discipline, he sure strikes out a shitload. He also doesn’t seem to be nearly the defensive wiz he was heralded as.
I still, however, love his left handed power for Safeco Field, and am praying to Ken Griffey that he somehow figures it out this year. He’s the one bona fide power hitter in our lineup, and he HAS to be successful for our team to work. If he continues to struggle, Jack Zduriencik will see his seat get even hotter, which I desperately don’t want to happen. Sidenote: am I the only hopeless romantic in Seattle who still loves Jack Z and has total faith in him?


Who the hell wears that kind of a shirt to an introductory press conference? We should have known right then...

Erik Bedard… please…

Since I am assuming Erik Bedard will surely read this, I’d like to take a moment to address him directly:
Dear Erik,
We all know you have royally sucked in your time here in Seattle. While we watch Adam Jones rake it in Baltimore, we’re stuck with your getting-injured, refusing-to-pitch-past-5-innings old self. Now, the M’s have graciously paid for your entire physical rehab the past two years, under the slim hope that you will somehow return to the dominant form you once displayed. I don’t think you can do it. Straight up: I think you’re soft.
PLEASE prove me wrong.
The thought of a rotation with King Felix, a dominant Michael Pineda, and a 2007-era Erik Bedard makes my mouth water with anticipation. You owe this to us, Erik. Just get it done!
Seattle Sports Bro

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